I watch my oldest daughter navigates life, and I have often worried, have I done enough?! I am sure those words ring true to many parents, and I am able to answer honestly. That answer is yes, I have done enough.
My daughter is able to embrace her introvert self, while balancing her ADD, anxiety and depression with integrating holistic and modern medicine and ways.
It started to show that she wasn’t your typical kid when she was in grade 3, her teacher was concerned that she didn’t have any friends that she played with. My response was, why would you force another child to play with my daughter, when neither one wants that relationship. I walked away not knowing if I was supporting my daughter properly.
With me working at one of the local schools, it has given me a different perspective. I’ve been able to watch the students interact. I find that it’s hard for kids like my daughter to have friends. Although they do interact when they need to, and I feel that their needs are fulfilled in that way.
I watch these kids as they are picked up, and they are the happiest go lucky children with their families. Like them, my daughter has always been happiest at home. It is her safe haven, and she has always thrived, being supported by being with her family.
Her normal, is not your typical normal
The first steps of her teetering on not being a ‘normal teenager’, started when she went to babysit for this family she knows well, and had helped out the year before and loved it. This particular year, she struggled. Her confidence was starting to waver, and I started to notice things weren’t the same. I know it wasn’t because of babysitting, but it was something underlying, but as a mother I couldn’t reach it.
In grade 9, we noticed that she was started to struggling majorly with her moods and feelings. She had a hard time not crying at the drop of a hat. She had a hard time finishing assignments on time. Things were not going her way.
It was like walking a tightrope for both her and I. As I tried to be understanding and supportive, and trying my best to have her recieve the help she needed. She had been to see the family doctor, with a list of things of what had been happening with her.
Mama bear came out in full force…
The family docotor had dismissed her each time, and said she just had anxiety due to her hormones, and one day it would pass.
What the hell, how can you tell me, when my daughter is bawling her eyes out frequently, she is having issues with school work, now wants friends – but cannot make them, don’t tell me to just wait it out until it passes.
That was where my mama bear came out. I was not ready to settle for that diagnosis, because my gut, as a mother, was telling me it something more then just what was showing on the outside.
I do get that her menestrual period was very infrequent, missing many months at a time. I had this same issue when I was younger, but it never caused me to be so emotional or unstable.
Find another plan… is it Plan b or c?! I’ve lost track, there seems to have been too many.
I decided that she should go back to a counsellor, this time a different one, one who would understand her, and one she could relate too. I wanted her to focus on what the underlying cause of her anxiety and depression was, and not just hormones that would pass with time.
The counsellor after several sessions with her, came back with what she thought Ally might have besides anxiety, is ADD.
Glimmer of hope, with a dash of a happy dance
This was not shocking to me, as I had wrote several times to the professionals we went to see, her brother, father and extended family had ADHD. The only thing is, it presents it self differently in girls, most times.
This is where I did my mom happy dance, the first time, I actually had some sort of glimmer of hope for my daughter to understand a little piece of her.
She does indeed have ADD, anxiety and depression. She is on medications, has been back to see the doctors a few times to regulate what she is feeling and seeing.
Light at the end of the tunnel
Let’s just say, I can breathe now for her. She has done amazing, since finding out her diagnosis. Honor roll for two years now, and she is to soon graduate from high school.
As she grows older, and starts to understand herself, she still doesn’t go far from home. She tends to decline invitiations to go out. She has had to set boundaries with her introverted self to provide self care and self love, which are:
- go for daily walks
- journal your feelings, she prefers art journalling
- daily(very long) showers
- spend time with family, when able, sometimes forced(doing a puzzle with mom)
bright future as an introvert, and proud of it
I could not be more prouder of her. She is joining me with my summer camp this year. She looks forward it, as she loved camp as a kid, and working at one.
For a person who struggled in a ‘normal’ world, has been able to embrace, understand and enjoy life during COVID, as she better understands herself through her up and downs in life.
She is also heading to University, but she is doing it her way. She will be going online, and completing her Bachelor of Science in Human Life Sciences. Her path is to work with herbs, energy, and understand natruropathic side of things.